Coronavirus, working from home, and having extra hours to myself has led to a lot of time to think. My goals for the year have changed, and I’ll be providing an update on that in a post or two’s time, but I’ve now got a better idea of what I want my future to look like.

I’ve had time to weigh up what matters most to me, and what I rely on to stay content and comfortable in life, and comparing that to my life now has been eye opening.

This post isn’t really for anyone to read, it’s more for me.

My current situation

Currently, I live in a cosy 1 bedroom flat close to the city centre. It’s within walking distance of both my parents house & work, so I’ve landed quite lucky there. I can just about afford to live (given that both myself and my boyfriend both earn 100% of our wages). With Reece on furlough, he’s earning 80% of his average wage and while that’s just about enough, it’s worrying to be in that situation given that the Government (and his employer) could take that away at any point.

My couch is 10 years old, my food is stored in a tiny second hand fridge freezer. I have a lot of little luxuries such as a TV in the living room and the bedroom, a Nintendo Switch with Animal Crossing New Horizons, and my work station. Reece has his newly built, high-spec gaming PC and we have food in our cupboards.

I have a pet hamster, who we should have named Houdini, but she’s a lovely little thing when she behaves. Her tank (note: not a cage!) is massive, and bigger than what most hamsters get. She lives a life of luxury, does Zoey.

It’s nothing to stick your nose up at, and it’s good enough for now.

There’s improvements I’d like to make, and additional extras I’d love to have, but right now it’s lovely to have my own space to work and live.

My dream future

I’d live in a 1 (or, pushing it, 2) bedroom house with a garden. I’d have a cat which I’d look after to see it grow from a kitten. My family would visit, and I would visit them. This house would be a little further out from the city, and instead of working from the office all week, I’d work 1 day a week and the rest I’d have a shed or summerhouse-turned-office so I could work from home comfortably.

My fridge would be twice the size it is now, and we’d go shopping once a month instead of weekly because it would be big enough with a little space left over for treats. I’d have my money separated three ways (bills, spending, saving) instead of two (bills, spending). I’d feel comfortable in my financial situation.

But also, I’d still be really close with my family. I spent far too long in my teens wanting to get away, and now I have that provided to me on a plate, it’s definitely not what I want.

What I’ve learnt living alone for 6 months

It’s hard to believe I moved out over 6 months ago. The time has passed by so quickly, especially recently, and I’d like to know where the time has gone, please.

I’ve learnt the value of money, that it’s important to have savings (which currently, I don’t) and to not spend what you don’t have. You never know what’s around the corner and it’s important to have that buffer. I’m trying to build that buffer, desperately, and it’s difficult when the money that’s coming in has been reduced significantly.

Being an adult is much more than putting clothes on your body and forcing yourself out of bed in the morning. It’s having the mental strength to get through whatever life throws at you, whether that’s being hit with anxiety, a global pandemic, or both.

I’ll look back at this post in a year, 2 years, 5 years time and think wow. The Coronavirus really did that, huh? Or something. Or maybe I won’t look back. Maybe I’ll try to forget about this year completely, like I’ve wiped 2014-15 out of my memory.

It’s difficult to know what the future will look like, and what will happen next.

Really, all I want is to be able to see my family, safely, and that they all survive this. I don’t know what I’ll do without them. They’ve been a backbone for me in this, even if they don’t know it. I’m just writing a train of thought now, and it’s probably good to mention that from the word “really” I’ve had tears streaming down my face and I really should calm down before my training call at 11.