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Turning 20 Made Me Want To Die.

There’s something to be said about having everything you want, but still there’s an echo in your brain. Money can’t buy happiness, or something. Anyway, this is the story of how turning 20 made me want to die.

There’s nothing like being in £2,000 worth of credit card debt by the time you’re 20. There’s nothing like having £1,000 in savings, to move out which you should use to pay off your credit card debt. There’s nothing like spending that £1,000 on moving out anyway.

Moving out is an exciting thing, and something I was looking forward to. Something I’m still glad I’ve done. I just wish it didn’t cost me so many emotions.

My mum called me the “least needy one” out of me and my 2 siblings. While that’s true, I also didn’t realise how much my creature comforts were, well… a comfort.

I know I struggle with change and I know that stress gets to me a lot easier than I let on at work and in other areas of my life. That doesn’t excuse the fact that I spent the first two weeks in my flat, in floods of tears, almost regretting my decision and wondering whether I could get my deposit & rent back with a massive apology and a “sorry for being an inconvenience”.

I have a lot to work on from here.

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